The Ultimatum

My bloke has been two timing me
and treating me old hat,
’cause recently he met this bird
who shared my sister’s flat.

We ducked down for a visit see,
which took her by surprise,
though all he did was chat this piece
and right before my eyes.

So what, if she’s a cute young thing
with cheeks so rosy red.
What right had she to come and sit
beside him on our bed.

She’d nibble on his earlobe like,
then kiss him on the cheek
and whisper, “Who’s a pretty boy!”
which made him go all weak.

He’s asked her down to live with us
and calls her “sweetheart” now.
I’m playing second fiddle to
the saucy little cow.

It’s “sweetheart” this and “sweetheart” that,
I’ve had it up to here.
This hussy’s got me dander up,
it’s crunch time hubby dear!

An ultimatum must be served,
he must know how I feel.
It’s either me he wants in life
or that darn cockatiel.

From the Book You’re Joking – Milk in Billy Tea.


On a visit to see Chris’s sister in Brisbane, I was rather taken in by one of the cockatiels she had. This resulted in her giving us the bird to bring home. My doting over the bird brought about the comment from Chris that she now had to compete with another woman in her life. We poets will write about anything given the chance.


  1. Hi Merv,

    What a delight to read this witty poem. That bird is quite the rival enticing the narrator’s partner with her whims and cunning loveliness. I also liked the ending. Thanks so much for sharing this, its charming humor brought a smile to my face, brightened my morning on a rain day in Southern California!

    Take care and be safe,


  2. Merv,

    Cockatiels are indeed an endearing bird. My sister had one for six or seven years.
    He talked and winked and kissed on command. He couldn’t cook thought, or iron

    Another favorite! Thank you!!



Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s