4 replies on “”

Hi Sarah

This poem is old, old going back almost 25 years. It’s been through an editorial draft of a least 8 different versions. I am taking a look at some of my vintage stuff and revising and reshaping. This is not auto biographical but based on a friend’s experience with her father’s passing. Actually a late friend of my mothers and woman who had always been like an aunt to me. Her father passed, who was a Swedish immigrant and a man who wrote stories, and left behind his old journal. His wife/ her mother had passed on earlier. Anyway, within the journal there was that mysterious, folded paper. It contained a poem called “Forsaken” with no name attached to the page or poem. It was a sad but beautifully written piece about a man who had deserted the narrator. In the poem, the young woman is standing alone at twilight looking at the trees and asking why he had abandoned her. And of course, his daughter and her sisters wondered who was this woman. Was she someone her father knew/loved before he left Sweden? Did their own mother ever know about her? And the list of questions went on. Now, being a writer and taking a keen interest in these circumstances, I wrote my version called “inquest”. Of course , some details are fictionalized or based on speculation like the girl possibly suffering a miscarriage and aggrieved enough to consider the deep river a solution. That conclusion was not really inferred or suggested in the original poem. But the sense of pathos and hurt, the haunting elements of feeling alone and deserted were there. The family never found out the identity of this strange, young woman; and to my knowledge, her identity and presence in their father’s life remains a mystery.

I hope this is my final version but you never know. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I am so glad you enjoyed this one. Your comments , as always, mean so much!

Take care
my best always


Even fictionalizing details, you tell this young lady story very well and put us in the time and place watching her. The image you chose is a fine accompaniment to the poem.

I can understand revising poems. I have had a couple which have undergone major revisions from their original form, and any time I call up a point to look at it I’m as likely as not to tweak it a little.


Hi Michael

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments on this poem! I deeply appreciate them. And perpetual revision is always, I think, an intregal part of the creative process. In my case, I keep revising those personal favorites that I come back to again and again.

My Best,


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