Encountering Self-Doubt

self doubt

I go into the field at dawn

when dark trees seem scribbled

out of the mist

 

and sound becomes silence

settling deep into the grass, bird down

and the fur of rabbits

 

as she descends the hillside

hushed in her shawl and skirt, the weave

of both unraveling

 

into loose ends. Threads of indecision. Light

soon moves through her hair

strewn with pine needles shed

 

from trees losing their green, her roots

blackening to the black

of mushrooms upended

along the mountain path. A poisonous

shade of pathos.

 

And I look at her knowing

it’s time to make peace, stop dreading

the girl who shadows me

in the quietest of hours. Who sings

her sorrow into the bone. Tenderly,

 

I take her hands

and draw from them

the strength of humility,

 

the grace of dearth

that like the desert leaves

space open

for daydreams and prayer.

___________________________________________

Note — I read an interesting article recently by artist, Jackie Morris, who talked about working with our personal insecurities, demons, hindrances etc as artists and writers. She made this point about making friends or engaging them in the creative process. Instead of dreading their presence, find a way to encounter them, envision them, understand how they can work with us to become stronger and more creative. Her  nemesis like mine is the ever-present figure of self-doubt, a darker kind of muse that seeks to inspire a sense of hesitancy, failure and often fear of taking artistic risk.

 

5 comments

  1. Wendy,

    You are quite a weaver with your words. It’s amazing to think of energy within poems. There is fashioning all around in this world in which we live and in our worlds of writing. Your writer world, designed in Wendy-style, is trademarked as a wondrous creation for your readers. It’s mesmerizing how your image-choice complements your poem’s theme/mood each and every time as if they’ve partnered for life. 🙂

    Enjoyed this today.
    Jan

    Like

  2. Mesmerising lines Wendy. ‘And I look at her knowing it is time to make peace, stop dreading the girl who shadows me’ Yes, exactly like looking in a mirror and seeing the real person reflected back.

    Douglas

    Like

  3. Dear Sarah and Payal

    Thank you for letting me know you like this poem! I really appreciate that acknowledgement!

    Dear Jan and Douglaus

    Your wonderful comments and support of my work are so deeply appreciated!! I enjoyed reading them and am glad you could in some way relate to this poem. It’s good to know my work resonates and makes sense.

    Take care everyone,
    my best always
    Wendy

    Like

    • Hi, Wendy! It has been far too long since my eyes and heart have been graced with your elegant and beautiful words. I love the hesitancy in the rhythm and the careful selection of words denoting your theme through nature’s more perfect lens. Just amazing writing, as usual.

      Rich

      Like

      • Hi Rich

        It’s really good to see you, been a long time but I am glad you stopped by and so deeply appreciate your beautiful commentary! Thank you so much for your wonderful insight and interest in my work. Hope you and your family are well and looking forward to a peaceful and blessed holiday.

        Again, many thanks,
        my best
        Wendy

        Like

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